Five Memoirs to Read When You're Writing Memoir

Part 2: To write memoir, read memoir

Last month, I recommended five craft books for people who are writing memoir. Today, I’m sharing memoirs to read for inspiration, edification, or just the joy of reading.

Unless you’re an Obama, a ‘spare’ royal or an established writer, memoir is very hard to sell. It’s not enough to have an amazing story. People do amazing things every day—brave, courageous, bold, wild—and certainly, that’s worthy of respect. But a compelling story alone isn’t enough to land an agent or traditional deal. The story should be both original and timely, focus on a deep inner transformation, and be as well as written like a novel—which is to say, exceptionally well-written.

On top of that, you may hear some agents and industry professionals talk about “saturated” markets. That means there have been so many versions of a particular type of story or book that the industry doesn’t think a new book on that topic can make money. Publishing, after all, is a for-profit industry.

That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t write memoir. It does mean that, in most (but not all) cases, the average debut author may have a hard time finding an agent or a large traditional publisher. In my experience, the people who have the most rewarding experience writing memoir are those who undertake the process for the sake of understanding what happened and how it changed them—in other words, the path to publication is secondary to writing for the sake of developing self-awareness.

The task of memoir is to reveal what we now understand (author lens) through scenes that happened at the time (“character” lens). In addition, the best memoirists (IMO) allow the reader to look through their eyes and hear through their ears—showing rather than telling. Here are five stellar examples:

The Glass Castle, by Jeannette Walls

The first time I read this, I stayed up until the wee hours and finished it all in one sitting. This highly praised memoir has the strongest opening I’ve read so far; I ask nearly all my clients to read the opening chapter, so they can understand what it means to grab the reader’s attention from the beginning. Walls’ is a powerful story of growing up in, and eventually escaping, profound rural poverty. Buy it here.

Aftershocks, by Nadia Owusu

As humans, our biggest opportunity for transformation comes after lifequakes that force us to reckon with ourselves. Abandoned by her Armenian-American mother as a child, Owusu had a nomadic childhood with her peripatetic Ghanian father; he died when she was 13. This is a beautiful memoir of finding one’s center amidst chaos and finding one’s identity. In addition to writing riveting prose, Owusu is also master of carrying the earthquake metaphor through the entire book. Buy it here.

The Beauty in Breaking, by Michele Harper

A ER doctor who spends her days and nights saving patients learns—from those same patients—how to heal herself after a painful divorce. Dr. Harper weaves together multiple themes and shows us the ways in which our personal healing contributes to healing the world. This is both beautifully written—the word ‘achingly’ comes to mind—and a testament to the the strength each of us can find after traumas break us open. Buy it here.

A Dream Too Big, by Caylin Moore

As a Black child growing up in Compton, Moore dreams of big things—and he quickly learns that many around him wanted to drag him down or put him “in his place.” At nine, he’s racially profiled for the first of many, many times. Moore’s writing brings us inside his experiences and traumas, including extreme poverty many of us can barely imagine and an abusive, then imprisoned father. Moore becomes determined to do better and to improve both his community and the world. Through diligent studying, he winds up a Rhodes Scholar at Oxford. Buy it here.

I’m Glad My Mom Died, by Jeanette McCurdy

I wasn’t sure I wanted to read this, because I’m about 30 years too old to have watched the author on Nickelodeon, and I have zero interest in ‘celebrity’ memoirs. I’m so glad I decided to read it anyway. McCurdy’s writing is right up there with The Glass Castle, which has similar themes. It shows that you can write about trauma in a way that’s deeply funny as well as poignant. The key, though, is to have lots of distance (and therapy) from the traumas you’re writing about. Buy it here.

What memoirs have you read that taught you something about writing? Or deeply affected you emotionally? Can you identify what the author did that made the narrative so compelling? Please share in the comments!

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